(I originally published this piece on Memorial Day, May 27, 2024. As you read through it, you’ll understand why I’m reposting it today.)
The Secretary of War desires me to express his deep regret that your son…
In October 2004, I was the commanding officer of Weapons Company, 2nd Battalion, 25th Marines, a reserve unit based in Garden City, NY.
In the Marine Corps, a reserve officer typically has an active duty counterpart who does all of the heavy lifting during the month, arranging training locations, transportation, and administrative nonsense. The title is Inspector-Instructor, or I&I, which implies that he's also the guy who gets to tell you about all the shit you're doing wrong.
My partner was Major Tim Hiel, a Notre Dame grad who is still a great friend. And, in addition to his role as my I&I, Tim was also assigned as one of the Casualty Assistance Calls Officers (CACO) for Long Island. That's the officer who has the unenviable responsibility of ringing the doorbell and informing a family that they've just lost their Marine.
If you think back to 2004, you can probably imagine that, in that capacity, Tim was a little busy at the time.
On Sunday, October 31, Tim was at JFK, about to board a flight to Norway in order to do some advance work for a NATO training exercise our battalion was going to participate in that winter.
That afternoon, my wife was out grocery shopping, and I was at home with our three kids when the phone in the kitchen rang. The caller ID said that the call was from the Marine reserve station, and I wondered why the hell they were calling me on a Sunday.
"Major O'Leary speaking," I said as I picked up the receiver.
"Good afternoon, sir," the voice on the other end replied. "It's Staff Sergeant Zeigler."
"Hey there, Staff Sergeant," I replied warmly. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Sir, Major Hiel's on his way to Norway and we need you to do a notification."
"F**k," I said. "Anybody I know?"
"I don't think so, sir," he said. "It's an officer from 2/5. First Lieutenant Matthew Lynch from Jericho. He was killed in Ramadi this morning."
I had never done a casualty call before and, as you’d probably guess, was hoping I'd never have to. But, shit, here it was.
"Okay, Staff Sergeant," I sighed. " I can do this, but I'm coming to you first so you can walk me through it. Check?"
"Yes, sir. Absolutely. We'll be here."
I hung up the phone and went upstairs to pull my Dress Blues from my closet. I was carrying them across the landing toward my office when my wife opened the front door. She was understandably curious as to why I had my uniform out on a random Sunday. When I told her the reason, she immediately burst into tears.
I wasn't too far behind her emotionally.
I donned my uniform and my wife was helping me fasten the collar when the phone rang. It was SSgt Zeigler again, calling to inform me that Major Hiel's flight had been canceled and that I wouldn't have to conduct the notification after all.
I've never been more relieved in my life.
Matt Lynch was a two-sport athlete at Duke University. He was Rookie of the Year on the swim team and catcher on the baseball team.
He was killed by an IED on Halloween 2004.
His father, a fellow Marine and retired FBI agent, delivered a beautiful eulogy for his son, at one point joking that, “Matt was a sucker for a high, inside pitch," and that, "even in heaven, St. Peter himself won't be able to get Matt to lay off that pitch."
In 2005, another battalion in our regiment was preparing to deploy and was short-handed. 1st Battalion, 25th Marines, which I would later command, was headed to Fallujah, Iraq, and 2nd Battalion loaned, or "chopped out" a few dozen Marines to them. Two of them were Captain John McKenna and Lance Corporal Mike Glover.
Capt McKenna was a rookie New York State Trooper, assigned to Troop F in Kingston. He had served on active duty from 1998 until 2003, which included a deployment to Afghanistan with the 2nd Marine Air Wing. When he left active duty, he joined Fox Company, 2/25 and attended the Infantry Officers Course.
LCpl Glover had decided to take time off from law school at Pace University in 2004 to enlist because, according to his cousin, after 9/11, "he felt he had to do something." The previous August, he and two Marine buddies had voluntarily driven 27 hours to New Orleans to join the rescue and recovery efforts following Hurricane Katrina.
Soon after 1/25 arrived in Fallujah, in March 2006, the Iraqi kids in the neighborhood began calling McKenna "Captain Candy" due to his regularly doling out sweets to them on the streets.
On August 16, Capt McKenna was leading a dismounted patrol in the city. LCpl Glover was the point man.
As they approached an intersection, the patrol came under a coordinated ambush by well-concealed insurgents firing automatic weapons, rocket-propelled grenades, and sniper rifles.
LCpl Glover was struck in the neck by a sniper round.
Capt McKenna immediately sprung into action, instructing his Marines to take cover and directing their fires. He called for them to deploy smoke grenades in order to obscure the enemy's vision. Then, ignoring the objections of those around him, he rushed into the cloud of smoke and hail of incoming fire to recover his Marine.
As he attempted to drag LCpl Glover to safety, he was mortally wounded by sniper fire.
Capt McKenna was posthumously awarded the Silver Star for his actions that day. His citation reads, in part, "Ignoring the imminent peril from heavy incoming fire, Captain McKenna ran into the intersection in an effort to save his downed Marine. Completely exposed to enemy fire, he calmly knelt next to the stricken Marine to assess his condition. As he began to drag the Marine to a covered position, Captain McKenna was hit by enemy fire and was mortally wounded.”
I hope that you'll take some time today to remember these Marines and all of the service members who have given us and our nation their last full measure of devotion.
God bless them and their families, and may He continue to bless the United States of America.
Brian O'Leary is a retired Marine Corps colonel, who served for 30 years, including combat deployments to Somalia and Iraq, and command of an infantry battalion in Afghanistan. Additionally, he has spent 25 years in the financial services industry. Brian earned his BA in English from Penn State University and his MA in National Security Studies from the US Army War College.
IG - @brian_oleary34 X - @brianoleary34
...and Semper fidelis.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Steve. I can't begin to imagine how difficult that was. Like I said, I couldn't have been more relieved when I learned that I wouldn't have to do it.
God bless,
Brian